Its Hurts

I keep on telling myself to hold on...dont ever cry in front of anyone...keep it for myself and let it go when I'm alone...but its really hurt...
I keep on smilling in front of everyone...sharing my laugh together with them...make them happy...but sometimes inside my heart, I'm crying and its painful...
I keep on telling my friends that whatever happens, I will always be at their side, for better or worst, I will stick with them...to see them felt down its really breaking my heart...
But when its come to this situation, I cant hold anymore...I dont want you to leave me, thats all I ask...yes, I've never said that I love you from the first time we met, but inside my heart I really do...I know that I made a mistakes, but it doesn't mean that you were always right...if you never love me then why my dear, why you ask for mine??? yet I never put a blame on you...you are always welcome and hurting me over and over again, yet I still forgive you...I know and I always realize that I'm not perfect, and I need you to complete me...you are my heart, my soul, my life and the most important things that you are MY LOVE...If we ever meet again, I just wanna to say that I LOVE YOU so much...but I dont know whether I still have a chance to say it or not...and I guest, I dont have it...and its really really really hurts...