Its Hurts

I keep on telling myself to hold on...dont ever cry in front of anyone...keep it for myself and let it go when I'm alone...but its really hurt...
I keep on smilling in front of everyone...sharing my laugh together with them...make them happy...but sometimes inside my heart, I'm crying and its painful...
I keep on telling my friends that whatever happens, I will always be at their side, for better or worst, I will stick with them...to see them felt down its really breaking my heart...
But when its come to this situation, I cant hold anymore...I dont want you to leave me, thats all I ask...yes, I've never said that I love you from the first time we met, but inside my heart I really do...I know that I made a mistakes, but it doesn't mean that you were always right...if you never love me then why my dear, why you ask for mine??? yet I never put a blame on you...you are always welcome and hurting me over and over again, yet I still forgive you...I know and I always realize that I'm not perfect, and I need you to complete me...you are my heart, my soul, my life and the most important things that you are MY LOVE...If we ever meet again, I just wanna to say that I LOVE YOU so much...but I dont know whether I still have a chance to say it or not...and I guest, I dont have it...and its really really really hurts...

YANG KU TAHU CINTA ITU INDAH

TAK PERNAH AKU MEMBAYANGKANNYA
BILA INSAN SEDANG PATAH HATI
KALI INI KU RASAKAN SESUNGGUHNYA

SIANG HARIKU BAGAIKAN MALAM
PELANGI PUN BERWARNAKAN KELAM
INIKAH YANG DINAMAKAN PATAH HATI

TAK INGIN KU JALANI CINTA YANG BEGINI
YANG KUTAHU CINTA ITU INDAH
TAK INGIN KU RASAKAN JIWA YANG TAK TENANG
KUMAU KAU TETAP DI SISI KU

DAN TAK INGIN KURASAKAN JIWA YANG TAK TENANG
KU MAU KAU TETAP DI SISI KU

SIANG HARI KU BAGAIKAN MALAM
PELANGI PUN BERWARNAKAN KELAM

I love you...but...

Sometimes i wonder why we meet again after such a long times we have been separated...is it because we were meant to be together or maybe just as a friends and not more than that...but things cant be change right...and you know that I love you so much...even sometimes i feel tired but i didnt give up anyway, and i hate that. I really wish i COULD FORGET EVERYTHINGS ABOUT YOU JUST LIKE YOU DONT EXIST IN MY LIFE NOT EVEN IN MY HEART OR MY MIND. You know something, I have met someone and I think he could replace your place but I was wrong, not because he doesn't want me, but how do you expect when he knew that I still in love with you, yes you! I have hurt him by hurting myself. Are you happy with that???? Of course you probably said that it wasn't your fault, but the thruth is you were never let me go...you are still there, but never show up...I feel so lonely, but try to makes everyones happy...I'm crying but always wanna makes people laughing...because i cannot tell them, I love you...even they knew bout it, I still have to denied it...because you are my......and we cannot be together because we just cant...

They said I have to opened my heart for someone else, I want it...I really do but I cant find the key...did the key missing or just because there is no door so why should i need the key?? but I know and I believe that one day I will meet someone who is better than you and loved me more than I do...and he will be my husband, my heart and my soul...I believe in HIM...InsyaAllah...